Maybe it’s that I’ve always lived in awe of words. Whether I’m writing them, reading them, or listening to them…words captivate and affect me like nothing else. Maybe it’s that I’ve been intentional about making 2020 a year to listen, observe, learn, and grow. But mostly, my heightened sensitivity to the way I see people speaking to one another is impacted by being a mother. I’ve started viewing the world through the lens of “this is the world I will be releasing my babies into”.
Progress is never linear and it is often never in a single direction. I've never been more aware of this as I have become, walking the path of a special needs parent. I came into this process thinking that once we received diagnoses, we would formulate a plan, work the plan, and move steadily forward. … Continue reading Progress is Not a Steady Forward March
To say that the coming school year is going to be stressful would be the world’s biggest understatement. I’ve been watching so many friends go through the stress of trying to decide what the best choice is for their kids…and no decision feels like it’s 100% right. I have some friends sending their kids into … Continue reading To the New Pandemic Homeschool Moms
"He's going to have autism forever and every day?" That's the question that my youngest son innocently asked me this 4th of July. We talk about autism openly in our home since his brother's diagnosis, but his 5 year old mind hadn't quite grasped this part I guess. He looked on concerned as his big … Continue reading He’s Going to Have Autism Forever?
Today, I'm worn out. I'm broken down and exhausted. I'm emptied of every ounce of patience and upbeat energy. My eyes don't have any tears left to empty. I've tried every strategy in my toolbelt and it all seems to come up short lately. I've been calm and accommodating. I've lost my cool and yelled. … Continue reading Being His Mom Will Always Be Worth It
I wrote this after our family went to a large event recently. These scenarios are often overwhelming for our oldest who has autism. He's come so far in how he deals with these overstimulating environments, though he's not always able to remain this calm. In this particular moment, he only needed to sit in the … Continue reading The Rain Was Meant For Play
Today I couldn’t hold back the flood of tears when what started as watching tv on the sofa turned into a heartbreaking exchange. I was watching the show, Parenthood, and in this particular episode, Max (a child with Asperger’s) was being picked on for stimming behavior (tapping of feet, flapping of hands, etc). My kid … Continue reading My Kid is the “Different” Kid
But stop using someone else's success as an excuse to be mean, to not make an effort in your own life, or to buy into the lie that what you are doing is wrong because it doesn't look like someone else's Instagram feed.
So, even though I have many fears that I’ve listed above and so many more, I also have so much hope for his future. I am so grateful for all of the resources available to us to help him succeed in anything he puts his mind to doing. Life may be easier as a horse that can blend in with the herd, but I will forever love my little unicorn and be there to cheer him on as he goes out to share his unique greatness with the world.
After taking it the first time, I kept saying that something felt different, off maybe even, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was because for the first time in a long time, I realized, I wasn’t panicking. I wasn’t in a state of hyper-vigilance, convinced that anything and everything was just moments from going wrong. And that realization made me want to cry. It’s only gotten better since then.