I don’t know about you, but while 2019 was full of lots of blessings, it was also a year that left me feeling worn and unsure. We entered a new world of behavioral psychologists, a seemingly never-ending diagnosis process (still ongoing), therapies (well at least getting on the waiting list for them), and medications for my oldest and speech therapy for my youngest. Most days I feel like I’ve been thrown into an arena, blindfolded, with a toothpick for a sword and expected to fight this new battle. We decided to pivot our small business and move from a brick and mortar boutique to a fully online retailer. And several other uncertainties and struggles that I won’t get into have left me feeling unsteady and exhausted.
Here’s the thing: I don’t have any grand plans to crush all of these obstacles in 2020. I still don’t know how all of these things will work out. The thousands of articles I scroll by (I’m sure you’ve seen them too) that talk about crushing goals and becoming a brand-new person in the new year feel like a puzzle piece that won’t quite fit into my puzzle. I’ve got goals I want to achieve, sure. There are traits of mine I hope to nourish and strengthen and others that I’d like to trim out. But if this year has taught me anything, it’s that I am not in control.
I will hustle and I will fight. But I’m not the one directing this journey. There’s something terrifying about that for an anxious control freak like myself; but there’s also something so relieving and reassuring about it. You don’t have to take on the responsibility of making it all happen in 2020, friend! God’s already got this thing, and he’s just waiting for us to hand the reins back over. You were created with your drive and passions for a reason, but God did not create you to make it all happen in your own power. In fact, sometimes, I believe He plants passions and dreams in our souls that are far beyond our own abilities specifically so that we will have no other choice to turn to Him to achieve them. Those battles you are staring down, that despite all the inspirational Instagram posts will not magically disappear when the clock strikes midnight tonight, weren’t meant for you to fight on your own. Turn them over girlfriend!
So, on the last day of this year, don’t be afraid to have big, audacious goals. Don’t be afraid to put on that armor and pick up those weapons in preparation for those battles. But please, don’t make the mistake of thinking you were meant to bulldoze your way through it all on your own strength and end next year feeling defeated and wounded. You were never self-made for a self-created purpose. You were God-made for a God-created purpose. He’s waiting for you to follow His plan, fight behind His shield, and watch Him do the impossible in your life.